Sep 16, 2010

Exposé (Soft Mode)

I must admit, my earlier posting was way too harsh, depending which side you are looking from..

The outburst, although true, might not be appropriate.

I was speaking through my heart. And I felt so relieved after that tell-all posting.
Mind you, it was just 50%-60% of the whole story.

Nevertheless, at least, people around me, who questioned my reaction during 2nd Raya (on the reception day at Pt. Sulong) will know why I behaved that bad..Somehow, I grateful, I still managed to control my anger, to ensure no unnecessary incident which might bring shame to Ayah, Atok Mok & the rest of my family. Something that I may regret for the rest of my life.

The only reason I wrote the other day, is to explain...what I feel all this while.

Ayah, the most patient person I ever met, is ever-forgiving. Every time Ayah asks me to be forgiving, I told him all I need is time. Hope Ayah will understand that.

After my exposé, I feel much better.

Yesterday, Y & A went back to Putrajaya. We shook hands, witnessed by Ayah. His prayer is answered. Again, I told them, all I need is time. It is so difficult to forgive, what more to forget. I may not possessing such a great character as Ayah. But I know, time will heal.

For what I did & wrote, I ask apology. I may reveal 'aib' & weaknesses of my own blood sister, which is forbidden as Allah reminds in Surah Al-Hujurat.

I won't create reasons to justify & claim whatever I did were all right.

I am just a normal person....anger, hatred &  all 'mazmumah' deeds misled me to do inappropriate actions.

Doesn't matter, who is right & who is wrong. 
Damage is done.
Let bygones be bygones.

I already did what I believed the best for everybody.
I will move forward and always pray for the best.

May Allah bless  & guide me for every single thing that I do in this world.
I ask for forgiveness, strength to follow the path of Rasulullah..

You my dear readers, are the witnesses, when my death came, that I have no more heart feeling for this ill-fated episode, one of the greatest test of my life so far...


p/s: thanks for your comments & smses. I am grateful to have good friends surrounding me..


  1. Ada banyak sumber untuk melepaskan perasaan, cerita ko memberi banyak pengajaran kepada yang lain..i'm proud that you have such courage

  2. Alhamdulillah...hope with the shake of hands will one day untie the knot...

  3. aku pun proud dgn courage ko. Kalau jd kat aku....x tau ler aku bole hadapinya mcm ko tak

  4. You need strength to tell all those story to other's not easy.

    pray that the 'hikmah' will soon appear and God bless you bro!

  5. aku tumpang geram dgn cerita kau ni. mmg susah nak maafkan org yg dah hidup dgn kita for so many years, nak pula darah daging sendiri.

    tapi dendam dan geram itu sgt individualistik, tak boleh ada dlm diri. kau seorg yg matang, kami percaya kau boleh tempuh semua ni dengan bijak & end up dgn good story.

    jgn bersedih, semoga Allah sentiasa bersama2 kalian sekeluarga.

  6. well said..
    aku pasrah..ada hikmah di sebalik semua yg berlaku

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  8. Dear Anon,
    Sharing can be helpful, although sometimes it is painful....