Exposé (Soft Mode)

I must admit, my earlier posting was way too harsh, depending which side you are looking from..

The outburst, although true, might not be appropriate.

I was speaking through my heart. And I felt so relieved after that tell-all posting.

Mind you, it was just 50%-60% of the whole story.

Nevertheless, at least, people around me, who questioned my reaction during 2nd Raya (on the reception day at Pt. Sulong) will know why I behaved that bad..Somehow, I grateful, I still managed to control my anger, to ensure no unnecessary incident which might bring shame to Ayah, Atok Mok & the rest of my family. Something that I may regret for the rest of my life.

The only reason I wrote the other day, is to explain...what I feel all this while.

Ayah, the most patient person I ever met, is ever-forgiving. Every time Ayah asks me to be forgiving, I told him all I need is time. Hope Ayah will understand that.

After my exposé, I feel much better.

Yesterday, Y & A went back to Putrajaya. We shook hands, witnessed by Ayah. His prayer is answered. Again, I told them, all I need is time. It is so difficult to forgive, what more to forget. I may not possessing such a great character as Ayah. But I know, time will heal.

For what I did & wrote, I ask apology. I may reveal 'aib' & weaknesses of my own blood sister, which is forbidden as Allah reminds in Surah Al-Hujurat.

I won't create reasons to justify & claim whatever I did were all right.

I am just a normal person....anger, hatred &  all 'mazmumah' deeds misled me to do inappropriate actions.

Doesn't matter, who is right & who is wrong. 

Damage is done.

Let bygones be bygones.

I already did what I believed the best for everybody.

I will move forward and always pray for the best.

May Allah bless  & guide me for every single thing that I do in this world.

I ask for forgiveness, strength to follow the path of Rasulullah..

You my dear readers, are the witnesses, when my death came, that I have no more heart feeling for this ill-fated episode, one of the greatest test of my life so far...

Wassalam....

p/s: thanks for your comments & smses. I am grateful to have good friends surrounding me..