The outburst, although true, might not be appropriate.
I was speaking through my heart. And I felt so relieved after that tell-all posting.
Mind you, it was just 50%-60% of the whole story.
Nevertheless, at least, people around me, who questioned my reaction during 2nd Raya (on the reception day at Pt. Sulong) will know why I behaved that bad..Somehow, I grateful, I still managed to control my anger, to ensure no unnecessary incident which might bring shame to Ayah, Atok Mok & the rest of my family. Something that I may regret for the rest of my life.
The only reason I wrote the other day, is to explain...what I feel all this while.
Ayah, the most patient person I ever met, is ever-forgiving. Every time Ayah asks me to be forgiving, I told him all I need is time. Hope Ayah will understand that.
After my exposé, I feel much better.
Yesterday, Y & A went back to Putrajaya. We shook hands, witnessed by Ayah. His prayer is answered. Again, I told them, all I need is time. It is so difficult to forgive, what more to forget. I may not possessing such a great character as Ayah. But I know, time will heal.
For what I did & wrote, I ask apology. I may reveal 'aib' & weaknesses of my own blood sister, which is forbidden as Allah reminds in Surah Al-Hujurat.
I won't create reasons to justify & claim whatever I did were all right.
I am just a normal person....anger, hatred & all 'mazmumah' deeds misled me to do inappropriate actions.
Doesn't matter, who is right & who is wrong.
Damage is done.
Let bygones be bygones.
I already did what I believed the best for everybody.
I will move forward and always pray for the best.
May Allah bless & guide me for every single thing that I do in this world.
I ask for forgiveness, strength to follow the path of Rasulullah..
You my dear readers, are the witnesses, when my death came, that I have no more heart feeling for this ill-fated episode, one of the greatest test of my life so far...
p/s: thanks for your comments & smses. I am grateful to have good friends surrounding me..